Hour 18

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Hour 18.....

Not too bad so far. I could definitely smoke a cigarette right now, but it's not an overwhelming feeling. The nicotine gum helps take the edge off, I think.

What I'm most proud of is that I haven't killed anyone yet, or even threatened to kill anyone yet! There again, I think the nicotine gum helps. Gotta remember to go to Walmart and get some more tonight so I don't run out. I think that would be a bad thing.

I can feel that I'm on the edge between sanity and complete craziness.....even with the gum. It's a fine line that I have warned my family not to make me cross. So far, they've been pretty understanding and accommodating. I think they might even be tip-toeing around me. I should feel bad, but I don't. The less they irritate me, the easier this quitting thing will be. It's all about me right now. They will just have to deal with it. It can't last forever, right? Right?!

I have to say that the hardest part so far has been not having a smoke after a meal or with my morning coffee. I think the coffee is the worst, though. I thought about not having any coffee this morning, but made it anyway. Why deprive myself of two things I love?! The coffee was good, but would've been better with the cigarette that usually goes with it. Ah well, I suppose I'll learn to adjust.

Trying to find things to keep me busy so I don't think about smoking.....or EATING! I could eat the entire refrigerator...nevermind opening it to find out what's in it! I'm not hungry, but food seems to be flying into my mouth without my knowledge. That's something I'm going to have to get in check. I'm quitting smoking to be healthier, not to die of a heart attack from weighing 500lbs! I'm sure this, too, shall pass. Gotta keep busy....

So, there's the first day and a half. Not bad. Not good. Not struggling too much yet, but would smoke them if I had them. Good thing I sent the extra pack I had with hubby today to give to someone at work. I know I'm not strong enough to be left alone with them. I'm weak.

Here's to hoping tomorrow goes as well. One day at a time.....one day at a time.......


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